Who am I? The creative conundrum
I keep asking myself this question? Who am I and what is my purpose? What do I love to draw? I guess we all have maybe at some point in time asked ourselves this question. On one hand I am fortunate to have re-discovered my childhood passion of painting. On the other end there is this incessant restlessness to figure out what do I want to paint? What expresses my attitude my creative vision? What style reflects who I am? Who am I?
I am influenced by artists and their style. I admire the old masters, Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael for their realistic and also pure portrayal of a vision. I love the departure with impressionism, Manet, Monet, Cezanne, Renoir, Van Gogh, Degas and the neo-impressionists, Seurat and Signac. Then there is the massive rift.....I am also fascinated by Picasso and Braque's cubism, I am in awe of Warhol's printmaking or Matisse's simplification of a theme. I love the works of Hockney and while I don't truly understand abstract art entirely, I could stare at Ritcher's work for a long time.
Its not wrong to be influenced. The world has had thousands of famous painters. But a definitive place in history was marked for the people mentioned above who challenged convention and who defied protocol the first time. That does not undermine the work of those who followed in their footstep but it marks the importance of what these masters accomplished. Even the artists above started by imitation. You have to know your past in art to make way for the future as it is such with any field. It did not just come to all of them in a flash, it involved hard work, meticulous planning and execution. The "dance class" of Degas, one of my favorite pieces was not painted in the room. In fact each character was individually painted and perfected and merely placed on the canvas at the right spot, scale and perspective to create the scene titled "dance class". However his mastery of light and shadow, ability to capture the view and emotion makes this a masterpiece. Such is the case with Seurat's "sunday afternoon".
I am painting today through sheer will, but my emotions are torn and art is really a dump of emotions. I am not hoping to be the next Picasso or Cezanne. I just want to find my comfort zone. That means it is merely a matter of patience or so is my conclusion. In todays world of instant messaging and instant gratification, patience is a tall order. Furthermore there remains yet another dilemma. Every artists in his time used the best tool available at his disposal. It made art evolve faster. That said is the use of tools such as computers valid? I definitely do not think so. There is something very human about art and the creative process and I would like to keep that within the brain. But until I find my comfort zone within this vast artistic realm I am stuck in limbo experimenting with styles, with mediums and with colors, trying to figure out what I want to do.
What do you think? let me know your comments or thoughts below.
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I am a self taught artist working with oil pastels, charcoal and acrylics. In my blog I share what inspires me and my work.